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The Chaotic Consumer Product Safety Album (Yes, Really) That’s Actually… Good?

Author KC Atkins
The Consumer Product Safety Commission has just released an album - yes really - of genuine bops!

I guarantee this wasn’t on your 2023 bingo card. The United States Consumer Product Safety Commission has just released a new album, We’re Safety Now Haven’t We: Volume 1. And here’s where that statement gets even more absurd: it’s actually pretty decent!

The Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) is a U.S. government agency that specializes in ensuring public safety when it comes to the products we use every day. But now in 2023 their job also includes making straight-up BANGERS. Never has a PSA about wearing your helmet slapped so hard!

Even the cover art feels like a fever dream that immediately ropes you in even before you hit the “play” button. I personally love the fox wearing a helmet the right way while the adorably goofy Shiba Inu wears one the wrong (but arguably much better) way. This dazzling triumph of graphic design is made even better when you remember that this was signed off by a government official. God bless America.

Now let’s look at the tunes themselves. Many songs on the album contain heavy hip-hop and EDM influences, which lends fun head-bobbing beats to their informative and safety-based lyricism. Never in my life did I ever think I’d see a government entity show love to the Wu-Tang Clan, but the CPSC did it with the album’s first song (and my favorite track on the record), Protect Ya Noggin’. From there the album takes off into bops about firework safety, proper ATV handling, and the dangers of texting and driving.

Now, am I going to bump We’re Safety Now Haven’t We while casually riding through Ramsey Street? Eh, probably not. But as far as a freshman album can go, I gotta hand it to the Consumer Product Safety Commission on this one. This album slaps. I can’t wait to see what topics are covered in Volume 2. Maybe a Drake-inspired love song about seatbelts? Or a Taylor Swift-esque breakup anthem about untied shoelaces?

KC is bringing you the Workday Wind Down, afternoons on KML. He’s a Carolina boy making Carolina noise! When he's not slinging music and mouth sounds on the BIG 95.7 WKML, you can catch him at the gym, live wrestling shows, open mics, or wherever fine pasta is sold. KC is a big fan of self-expression, as his many tattoos will show you. KC's favorite pastime is making others laugh. In his mind, if he can bring a smile to your face then it's a day well spent. KC likes to write about TV and film, especially Spider-Man, and Fayetteville happenings.

What Were The Hottest Concerts Of 2023?

The past two years saw the return of touring, and many acts have hit the road with a vengeance.  There have been amazing live performances, with some of the biggest artists returning to the road. Some tours were delayed due to COVID-19, while some musicians happened to take a long hiatus from performing altogether. Whatever the reason, in 2023, musicians across all genres of music announced world tours and stadium tours.

Pop legends like Madonna and Janet Jackson are touring on a global scale, as are younger artists like Harry Styles and Morgan Wallen. Popularity with K-pop and Latin artists has brought musicians from both genres to have successful tours in 2023. Beyonce, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, Pink and the Cure have all been on the road this year as well.

There is, of course, massive hype around Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour. Her shows last three-and-a-half hours as she covers all aspects of her career, from country to pop to indie. With her two “surprise songs” each night, fans are always eager to find out what songs she’ll choose for that segment. On top of that, her timing is impeccable for fans “itching for a post-pandemic live music immersive experience.” Another factor is how much Swifties appreciate Taylor’s dedication to her craft: writing all her songs and reclaiming ownership of all of her music by re-recording her discography. Fans have also been buying and streaming the new versions of her old songs and the bonus tracks on her re-recorded versions of her albums.

Secondary ticket market site Gametime released data showcasing the Top 10 Concert Tours of the year based on average ticket prices on their site. Take a look below at which ten music artists have the hottest concert tickets of 2023 so far, based on the prices of their tickets on Gametime.

  • 10. Feid - $196

    The Colombian singer-songwriter has worked with several well-known Latin artists such as J Balvin, Sebastián Yatra, Manuel Turizo, Maluma, Karol G, and Young Miko. Also known as Ferxxo, the artist released 15 singles in 2023 so far. He kicked off his Ferxxo Nitro Jam Underground tour in April, wrapping up his 29-city North American tour in June.

  • 9. P!nk - $199

    P!nk kicked off the North American leg of her Summer Carnival tour in July in Toronto, Canada. The tour runs through October 9, with her Trustfall Tour starting a few days later, running through November 19 in the US. The “Never Gonna Not Dance Again” singer is known for her acrobatic stage performances, setting her apart from any pop artist, and any other mainstream performer.

  • 8. Karol G - $205

    The Colombian singer is known for her Reggaeton and Latin trap music, collaborating with fellow popular Latin artists like Shakira, Bad Bunny, J Balvin, and Ozuna. Karol G’s first-ever stadium tour, Mañana Será Bonito Tour kicked off in August 2023, with 15 dates until the final show on September 28 in Boston.

  • 7. George Strait - $258

    The “King of Country Music” is one of the most successful artists of all time, in any genre.. Setting venue attendance records across seven stadium shows this summer alongside Chris Stapleton, the two will continue touring into 2024 with nine new dates.

  • 6. Beyoncé - $273

    Queen Bey embarked on her Renaissance World Tour on May 10, beginning in Stockholm, Sweden. She made her way to the US with a show in Philadelphia on July 12 and finishing up her tour on October 1 in Kansas City. The tour, which supports her latest Renaissance album, is already the highest-grossing tour of hers to date.

  • 5. Suga - $309

    The South Korean rapper and singer, who also goes by Agust D, debuted as a member of the boy band BTS in 2013. He embarked on his first worldwide solo tour, performing in the US from April 26 to May 16 before heading over to Asia. The 30-year-old artist is set to begin his mandatory military service in South Korea on September 22 and will return in 2025. He is the third BTS member to enlist, following Jin and J-Hope. Throughout the next few years, all seven members of BTS will enlist.

  • 4. Morgan Wallen - $315

    The country singer’s One Night At A Time World stadium tour began in March 2023, performing in the US from April to October. He added additional dates for his 2023 tour, and picks his tour back up in April 2024, with additional dates running through June 7. Wallen, 30, faced intense backlash and criticism in early 2021 after he was captured on camera saying the N-word to one of his friends. He has since apologized and regardless of the controversy, his Dangerous album went on to be the top-performing country album of 2021.

  • 3. Usher - $400

    Usher’s Vegas residency, titled My Way began in February 2023, running all the way to December. The “Climax” crooner had a bunch of celebrities in the audience and on stage throughout his residency, with many viral moments occurring due to the artist serenading women who are in relationships — most famously Keke Palmer.

  • 2. Drake -- $465

    The “Nice For What” rapper began his It’s All A Blur tour with 21 Savage in Chicago in July, and will through October 9, with more dates to be announced. Drake has supporting artists J. Cole, Travis Scott, Lil Yachty, Sexyy Red, and Central Cee, joining him on select dates.

  • 1. Taylor Swift - $1,051

    Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour has been so successful, it is expected to pass $1 billion in sales by March 2024. If that happens, the singer-songwriter will make history. She has extended the North American leg of her Eras Tour to pick back up next fall, but before that, has a concert film debuting this October for fans who were unable to shell out money for tickets.

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Author KC Atkins
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