Creating a Mentoring Partnership

The mentor/mentee relationship between an adult and child can be transformative, for both! But how do these mini-teams get started?

Perhaps you’re now an empty-nester, or you’ve reached job security with extra time to do something useful. Maybe you’re a busy family and you worry your child is not getting enough one-on-one attention, or you’re a single parent looking for a role model.

There are great organizations that can help you connect. 

Before becoming a mentor, think about the qualities it takes and the roles you’ll assume. Your own mentors were at times role model, cheerleader, enforcer, advocate, and friend. The national mentoring partnership MENTOR lists basic qualities that good mentors share:

Could you describe yourself as having these traits? Mentoring agencies will counsel you on the amount of time you should commit and support you with activities, but mentoring is more than scheduled visits and bowling. 

If the answer is yes, you have what it takes, it’s time to focus on what you want to do. Before reaching out to an agency or group MENTOR suggests you consider your preferences and skill set. Ask yourself what kind of time commitment you are willing or able to make. Do you want to mentor one-on-one or in a group setting? What are your strengths and interests? Are you into sports or do you want to help a youth learn a particular skill? Are you comfortable with young kids or do you prefer conversation with older youth? 

Once you’re ready to pick up the phone or fill out an application, MENTOR recommends you look at a minimum of three different programs. Speak with the volunteer coordinator and tell them the amount of time you have, the activities you enjoy and the age you would prefer. Then ask them about their training, the programs they offer for group or one-on-one mentoring. Ask how they match mentors with mentees. 

If it doesn’t feel comfortable or the programs don’t match your time and interests, visit another organization. One in three kids lacks a mentor, there are plenty of opportunities that will fit!

Are you a parent or guardian, teacher or caring friend who knows a young person who could thrive with a mentor’s support? Are you a young person looking for role model and trusted advisor?

Boys and Girls Clubs of America has information on finding a mentor and making the most of the experience. 

Talk to your kids before you begin your search, understand their concerns and learn their interests. Remember, a good mentor could be in plain sight. A grandparent, neighbor, community member or someone in a career that interests your child. Developing these social connections can often transition into a natural mentorship.

Start your search by contacting the local mentoring programs in your community. Boys and Girls Clubs and Big Brothers Big Sisters are two nationally recognized structured programs that connect children with caring adults every day. 

Talk to your child’s afterschool activities advisors, they’re informed about STEM, athletics and art programming opportunities. The coaches and instructors who lead these activities have great experience empowering young people and they already have a connection through their shared interest. Your school Guidance Counselors is also a great resource for locating youth mentoring programs near you.

Reach out to your local colleges to learn about their mentoring programs. Kids relate better to someone closer in age, making young adults a great fit for mentorship. Upperclassmen and college students will share the same issues and concerns as you kids - surviving social media, mental health challenges and the lingering effects of the pandemic. These shared experiences let kids feel more comfortable asking for guidance.

Remember your child’s interests. A theater kid could find his peers and mentors in an afterschool program at a local rep company. An aspiring artist could find classes at community art centers or local museums. Exploring an interest or hobby can connect your kid with adults to bond with over through their shared interest. Many nonprofit organizations have youth volunteer coordinators who can guide your child into activities, mentorships and friendships while letting them give back to the community with causes close to their heart.

Once you’ve identified or been assigned a potential mentor, get to know them and their interests. Ask about their background and commitment to the relationship. Mentoring organizations conduct background checks and offer training to mentors; don’t be afraid to ask for references. Throughout the mentorship, keep in touch to ask about your child’s experience or your child has outgrown the partnership.

Mentoring relationships are learning and growth for both the child and the adult. You both can learn more about yourselves and gain understanding for others while build you self-esteem. It’s a winning combination.